Numbers and Letters
Do you want to know what I’ve been thinking about lately? The numbers and letters on the tags in my clothes. Last Sunday, I was taking off the dress I wore to church, and I found myself staring at the XL on the tag (the dress is basically a giant striped t-shirt/maxi dress, and I could probably fit into a large, but when you’re shopping at a consignment store and you fall in love with the giant striped t-shirt/maxi dress you get it even if it’s a little too big. Also, it was ten bucks). Since having Erin, I’ve spent more time than I care to admit looking at myself in the mirror. I say looking at myself in the mirror, but it’s more like cringing and criticizing. I’m really tired of it.
Have you ever read this quote by JK Rowling?
Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’?
This quote has been on my mind a lot lately. I’m not a perfect person (I hear the opening strains of a Hoobastank song). I think I’m too judgmental, and my knee jerk reaction in most situations is often sarcasm, which is something I’ve found myself earnestly trying to change over the past few months. There are a host of many other failings I possess, but I think for the most part I’m pretty okay. I would hate to be known as shallow or vain or cruel or any of those other adjectives. The more I’ve thought about that, the more I realize I’ve been expending pointless, negative energy on tearing my body apart (hypothetically), when I could be expending constructive, positive energy trying to become a better person. Do you see what I mean?
Also, can I go off on a tangent? For a second? I can because I’m writing this. Let’s talk about how ridiculous sizing is on clothes, and the “health standards” in this country.
Fun fact, I’m considered obese. Like, for real. I’m 5’2 and my weight currently fluctuates between 155-160 pounds. According to the CDC, or whoever creates the charts that tell you if you're obese or not, I am an obese woman. Let that sink in for a minute. What’s super great about these “obesity standards” is a lot of leading people in the fitness industry have influenced them (like, sliding a twenty under the table to whoever finalizes things)(or a few twenties), because the fatter you think you are, the more money you give to them. Isn't that great? Super super great??
(Has my sarcasm come through adequately enough? Have you figured out yet that those standards should be taken with a grain of salt?)
But wait, there’s more!
Have you ever compared jean sizes from different companies? What’s a size 6 in one brand, is an 8 or a 10 in another. A shirt that looks like a size small in one store, could potentially be labeled XXL in any store that likes to advertise strictly with pictures of people running around on the beach in bikinis (and they don’t even sell bikinis. Okay they do, but seriously. Am I right? I’m right. Also when you walk by them in the mall, you get a headache from the overwhelming cologne smell emanating from their murky depths. We’re still talking about the stores here, in case you got lost).
So. I think it’s time, WAY. PAST. TIME., for me to stop worrying about the M’s and the L’s on my shirts and dresses. And the 10’s, 12’s, and one random pair of 16’s, on my jeans.
Where am I going with this? I have no idea, but my point is I have a three year old daughter. Y’all, she absorbs everything I do and say. Everything. For example, I’ve noticed more and more lately that when she’s concentrating on something, she kind of purses her lips. I pointed it out to Mike, and we agreed it’s really cute. Then I wondered aloud where she got it from, and Mike just kind of rolled his eyes and looked at me. So over the past couple of weeks I’ve noticed that, occasionally, when I’m concentrating, I purse my lips. SHE ABSORBS EVERYTHING I DO AND SAY. The last thing I want my daughter to do is treat herself the way I’ve treated myself over the course of my life. She could potentially be a female who actually loves her body and values all of the great things it’s capable of!! Isn't that a beautiful and encouraging thought?!?!
But also, aside from being Erin’s mom and setting a good example for her, I get to live with myself. Shouldn’t I be treating myself with more kindness?
I have this quote on the mirror in our downstairs bathroom:
Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down, resisting the impulse to become offended easily, accepting weaknesses and shortcomings, accepting people as they truly are, looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time, and resisting the impulse to categorize others.
(that quote was said by Thomas S. Monson and is from this great talk. I've condensed what he said to make it more of a list.)
I literally read that quote every time I sit on the toilet downstairs (tell your mental picture I said you’re welcome). It has been on the mirror for a couple of months, and in those two months there have been countless times that reading those words has calmed my mind/heart, helped me see someone else’s angle of a situation, or, at the very least, not judge others in a negative way. Sunday night, as I read over the quote, the line that I put in bold up there jumped out to me. I’ll be honest with you, I usually skim quickly over that line for various reasons, but when I read it Sunday night I realized that while charity should be extended abundantly to others, it should also be extended abundantly to myself. I read the quote for the hundredth time, my eyes were opened, and I knew that line was written for me to read in that exact moment. I was ready to understand what it needed to teach me.
I’m not saying all of this is an excuse to leave my mind and body where it is, accepting things as they are and moving on. Progress and effort should be happening in every aspect of our lives, all the time. This realization motivates me to better both my mind and body in a healthy, positive way.
And if I never find my abs or hip bones again, that’s okay. And if I eventually lose the 25 pounds I’m still carrying around from being pregnant with Erin, that’s okay too. And if it takes years to do that, that’s okay too. And if I don’t even lose all of it, that’s okay too. And if I make baby steps in looking at myself in the mirror and realizing that there’s much more to me than a muffin top or cellulite on my thighs, that’s even more okay. Because I’m a pretty okay person.
Have you ever read this quote by JK Rowling?
Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’?
This quote has been on my mind a lot lately. I’m not a perfect person (I hear the opening strains of a Hoobastank song). I think I’m too judgmental, and my knee jerk reaction in most situations is often sarcasm, which is something I’ve found myself earnestly trying to change over the past few months. There are a host of many other failings I possess, but I think for the most part I’m pretty okay. I would hate to be known as shallow or vain or cruel or any of those other adjectives. The more I’ve thought about that, the more I realize I’ve been expending pointless, negative energy on tearing my body apart (hypothetically), when I could be expending constructive, positive energy trying to become a better person. Do you see what I mean?
Also, can I go off on a tangent? For a second? I can because I’m writing this. Let’s talk about how ridiculous sizing is on clothes, and the “health standards” in this country.
Fun fact, I’m considered obese. Like, for real. I’m 5’2 and my weight currently fluctuates between 155-160 pounds. According to the CDC, or whoever creates the charts that tell you if you're obese or not, I am an obese woman. Let that sink in for a minute. What’s super great about these “obesity standards” is a lot of leading people in the fitness industry have influenced them (like, sliding a twenty under the table to whoever finalizes things)(or a few twenties), because the fatter you think you are, the more money you give to them. Isn't that great? Super super great??
(Has my sarcasm come through adequately enough? Have you figured out yet that those standards should be taken with a grain of salt?)
But wait, there’s more!
Have you ever compared jean sizes from different companies? What’s a size 6 in one brand, is an 8 or a 10 in another. A shirt that looks like a size small in one store, could potentially be labeled XXL in any store that likes to advertise strictly with pictures of people running around on the beach in bikinis (and they don’t even sell bikinis. Okay they do, but seriously. Am I right? I’m right. Also when you walk by them in the mall, you get a headache from the overwhelming cologne smell emanating from their murky depths. We’re still talking about the stores here, in case you got lost).
So. I think it’s time, WAY. PAST. TIME., for me to stop worrying about the M’s and the L’s on my shirts and dresses. And the 10’s, 12’s, and one random pair of 16’s, on my jeans.
Where am I going with this? I have no idea, but my point is I have a three year old daughter. Y’all, she absorbs everything I do and say. Everything. For example, I’ve noticed more and more lately that when she’s concentrating on something, she kind of purses her lips. I pointed it out to Mike, and we agreed it’s really cute. Then I wondered aloud where she got it from, and Mike just kind of rolled his eyes and looked at me. So over the past couple of weeks I’ve noticed that, occasionally, when I’m concentrating, I purse my lips. SHE ABSORBS EVERYTHING I DO AND SAY. The last thing I want my daughter to do is treat herself the way I’ve treated myself over the course of my life. She could potentially be a female who actually loves her body and values all of the great things it’s capable of!! Isn't that a beautiful and encouraging thought?!?!
But also, aside from being Erin’s mom and setting a good example for her, I get to live with myself. Shouldn’t I be treating myself with more kindness?
I have this quote on the mirror in our downstairs bathroom:
Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down, resisting the impulse to become offended easily, accepting weaknesses and shortcomings, accepting people as they truly are, looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time, and resisting the impulse to categorize others.
(that quote was said by Thomas S. Monson and is from this great talk. I've condensed what he said to make it more of a list.)
I literally read that quote every time I sit on the toilet downstairs (tell your mental picture I said you’re welcome). It has been on the mirror for a couple of months, and in those two months there have been countless times that reading those words has calmed my mind/heart, helped me see someone else’s angle of a situation, or, at the very least, not judge others in a negative way. Sunday night, as I read over the quote, the line that I put in bold up there jumped out to me. I’ll be honest with you, I usually skim quickly over that line for various reasons, but when I read it Sunday night I realized that while charity should be extended abundantly to others, it should also be extended abundantly to myself. I read the quote for the hundredth time, my eyes were opened, and I knew that line was written for me to read in that exact moment. I was ready to understand what it needed to teach me.
I’m not saying all of this is an excuse to leave my mind and body where it is, accepting things as they are and moving on. Progress and effort should be happening in every aspect of our lives, all the time. This realization motivates me to better both my mind and body in a healthy, positive way.
And if I never find my abs or hip bones again, that’s okay. And if I eventually lose the 25 pounds I’m still carrying around from being pregnant with Erin, that’s okay too. And if it takes years to do that, that’s okay too. And if I don’t even lose all of it, that’s okay too. And if I make baby steps in looking at myself in the mirror and realizing that there’s much more to me than a muffin top or cellulite on my thighs, that’s even more okay. Because I’m a pretty okay person.
Comments
Post a Comment